Decisions that Shape Our Lives: My Take on the Importance of Discernment.

"Life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get."

Well, that’s all well & good, Mr Gump. After all, chocolate doesn’t suck, except when you bite into one only to discover its coffee flavoured. Yuk. 

I rarely make the mistake of buying chocolate I don’t like, but it happens! And it’s always, always, because I made my choice when I wasn’t paying attention. 

As we go through life, we’re faced with countless decisions, some are low-stake, like buying 70% cocoa when what you really wanted was MILK. 

And some are big, like marrying someone who isn’t right for you, just because it was easier at the time to go ahead with it than spitting out the inconvenient truth that you’re just not that into them. 

The latter is the kind of decision that shapes the fate of your future self. 

Last night, I attended the Dublin preview of Arthur Miller’s play "The Price," & was struck by the line that 

"The most important decisions are the ones you don't know you're making at the time." 

The play was written in 1968 & it’s fascinating to me how relevant the private little torments of each character still holds true for the characters we play in our very own lives, to this day. 

The decisions that impact us most in life are those we make in the three central commitments that make up the trinity of work, relationships, and self. 

There’s no such thing as a ‘right’ decision. There are just the decisions you make that are right for you & which allow you to live with peace & integrity. ‘Right for you’ decision making requires a keen sense of discernment & a consideration for all kinds of shit we never learned in school. 

What we learned in school, was that there were only ever two answers, the RIGHT one & the WRONG. The former leading to REWARD & the latter, PUNISHMENT.

So we learned how to stay safe & below the radar by always choosing what was ‘right’ over what was ‘true’. Or, if you were anything like me, you made your decisions not from self interest but as a giant FUCK YOU to an overbearing authority that tried every day of your school going years to make of you a square peg, no longer in touch with her well rounded WHOLE. 

What this might look like in business, is playing it safe so as not to offend anyone then wondering why you hate your job - the very one you created for yourself! How the hell is it that you ended up creating a work life of hustle & grind when what you really want, is freedom & ease?

Decision, that’s how. 

Similarly in relationships, you stay friends out of obligation to people you knew from school but with whom you have fuck all else in common & whom - if you were really honest - irritate & bore the ever loving shit out of you; but whom you continue to tolerate [I just accidentally typed ‘TOILerate’ - it fits, but I digress].

Why? Because you made a decision one day & never thought to review it. 

When it comes to your relationship with self, just ask yourself how much time you’ve spent in life counting calories or dieting just to fit in some outfit you bought for a wedding but which chances are, you’ll never wear again.

Partly because it probably won’t ever fit you again but probably also because even when it did fit you, you were uncomfortable as fuck. 

Why? Because you made a decision to listen to the propaganda of an industry making money on the back of your insecurities & not the truth within yourself. 

As a life coach, I understand the importance of discernment in decision making.

Knowing what you’re choosing, why & actually LIKING your reasons is vital to the quality of your career, your relationships & your life.  

Helping my clients recognise & make intentional decisions that align with their needs, values, desires & goals is a critical part of what I teach every one who chooses to hire me as their coach. 

By developing a keen sense of discernment, my clients become better equipped & so much more confident in making choices that will lead to a life of satisfaction, fulfilment & success - by their own definition, no one else.

So next time you're faced with a decision, remember that the art of discernment will empower you to make intentional choices that will set your future self up for a happier life. 

Because let’s be honest, life is too short to be a Ferrero Rocher stuck in a box of coffee flavored shite. 

Amanda

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