Welcome to my world!

In our pursuit of meaningful connection & authentic living, we all share the deep desire to be seen, heard, and valued for who we truly are.

And yet, in the transitional space that characterises mid-life, women often find themselves entangled in complexities that overshadow their authenticity. This shadow, a combination of harmful societal pressures & past experiences, manifests as a formidable adversary, subtly eroding confidence and self-worth.

 Over time, this opponent secures its place: it is within the feminine psyche, that "The Midlife Shadow" takes root. This subtle influence, comprising societal norms and past traumas, employs insidious tactics designed to distort reality and undermine self-confidence. 

The Power of Acknowledgment

In this sticky web, acknowledging the light becomes an act of defiance. As uncomfortable as it may be, there is solace to be found in the truth of...

We all know that if you don't ask, you don't get. But when you learn to make a powerful ask or statement, then who knows what possibilities await.

As much as we might wish they would, people simply cannot not read our minds. The fact is, you have to make the ask & say the thing.

And one way to guarantee you endless frustration, is to be passive about it - or aggressive, if you like conflict, that is; or if you're going for 'completely miserable', then the passive-aggressive approach is a sure fire bet.

However, if you want to dramatically increase the chance of having your voice heard when you speak, you must practice being assertive. 

Being assertive means you know how to communicate what you want in a clear and respectful manner. It means you are not afraid of speaking your mind & that you honour & respect yourself by expressing yourself in authentic and powerful ways.

Wise women are assertive communicators.

They are honest, direct, and skilled at ...

"Life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get."

Well, that’s all well & good, Mr Gump. After all, chocolate doesn’t suck, except when you bite into one only to discover its coffee flavoured. Yuk. 

I rarely make the mistake of buying chocolate I don’t like, but it happens! And it’s always, always, because I made my choice when I wasn’t paying attention. 

As we go through life, we’re faced with countless decisions, some are low-stake, like buying 70% cocoa when what you really wanted was MILK. 

And some are big, like marrying someone who isn’t right for you, just because it was easier at the time to go ahead with it than spitting out the inconvenient truth that you’re just not that into them. 

The latter is the kind of decision that shapes the fate of your future self. 

Last night, I attended the Dublin preview of Arthur Miller’s play "The Price," & was struck by the line...

Today, in the northern hemisphere, it is the year's longest night.

We have officially reached the darkest point, gone as deep as we can go and for me, there is always a relief in that.

Yesterday, I posted an image of my journal on Instagram, the caption read "Assume you're halfway in & then each step forward, will be one of emergence."

I was referring to what I call recovery. You may call it something else but no matter how we name that journey; it is often one of reckoning.

A deep grieving of what’s been lost, a making way for new possibilities

Someone in the comments said "that's a good way to look at it". For me, it was the only way I could look at it that gave me the courage & the faith to keep going through my darkest days.

Last night, I put to words, a story I often tell my students, about the day I encountered that faith upon meeting a stranger on a path on which I'd taken a literal fall.

I filmed myself writing the piece, which I then spoke into my phone, over the...

Are you stuck at home with loads of time on your hands and maybe children in the house and no idea what to do with them?

Well here are some ideas for you to get creative, play, connect and have a good time together. 

These are meaningful activities that foster connection, communication and understanding and can really help you spend quality time with your loved ones, in a fun and explorative way. 

You never know what you'll discover so please let us know in the comments, how this goes for you. 

1. Follow The leader

You will need pens, pencils and one sheet of paper per game.
This will work with 2 or more participants.

Nominate one person as the leader and the rest as followers. 

Everybody sets their pen or pencil down together on the same spot on the page. The leader then sets off, setting the course and the pace, while the followers moving their pencils along with them, try to keep up.

Swap roles until everyone has had a chance to be both a...

What makes for a positive journaling experience? Most people would connect this to outcome. That having 'good art' to show for it, makes for enjoyable time making it.

Not in my experience. 

So you've decided to start journaling and you're really determined. You see how much joy and meaning it gives to others. You see how they fall in love with their practice, the depth of joy and self connection it adds to their lives and you want in. 

You go out, buy yourself a gorgeous journal, you treat yourself, it's something special.

And then you find yourself sitting in front of blank pages, looking for inspiration for god knows how long, then you come to the end of your time and walk away discouraged, with nothing to show for it. 

You tell yourself you can't do this, you're just not creative enough, as you try to suppress the disappointment and envy bubbling up inside. 

Some people might try to combat this with a 'try harder' approach. ie, they will keep...

Grief is a very powerful emotion, one that can easily overwhelm and take us away from ourselves.

With it, can come a restless and unnerving 'I don't know what to do with myself' state of being, as articulated here by the Author CS Lewis in his book 'A Grief Observed'.

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing." 

A ritual is a sequence of activities involving gestures, words, and objects, performed in a sequestered place and according to set sequence and can be employed to neutralise or prevent anxiety. 

Rituals help ground and anchor us. They can give us a sense of place and space.

Many cultures have sacred grief rituals, the function of which is to help us process our losses, yet nobody teaches us how to mourn in anticipation of our inevitable need for a repertoire. 

To lean in, tend and give expression...

Recently, I was being lulled to sleep by the rain at my window and in that mid state, I became aware of some words that landed on me with the lightness of a butterfly. 

My first inclination was to disregard them in favour of the state into which I was melting. After all, I hadn’t been consciously looking for words that day. 

So I ignored my poetic butterfly, but it wasn’t going anywhere. 

Instead it lingered, flapping its wings and scalding me out of my semi conscious state until got up and wrote the words down.

The next morning, I awoke to find my notebook open on the bedside locker and the sentence written down inside the cover.

"The door for me is opened,

the question of the way is kind.

Trust the open door."

I was amused by it’s cryptic nature though its meaning wasn’t immediately apparent to me. Later that day as I was pottering about my studio, I realised I had been doodling door like structures all week. How interesting. There...